I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
