Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
