If that was your dad, he is hot
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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