I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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