You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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