I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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