Where is the hickey?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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