i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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