Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
