I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
