well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
