I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
