barbara walters just said penis...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
