weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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