if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
