so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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