what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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