just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
