Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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