im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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