So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
