the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
