just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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