I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize