You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
