the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
