I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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