Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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