just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I could fuck to npr.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
