I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
