it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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