That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
