Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
