the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
