brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
