dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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