Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
