Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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