Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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