I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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