what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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