I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
