we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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