I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
