True but thats because hes a fetus.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
