can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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