well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
