And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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