I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
