she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've blown a few things in my day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
