she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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