Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
