my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
