my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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