These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
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He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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