Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
