My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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