Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
